>Its getting harder and harder to deal with the loss. I have so far been able to partition off most of my feelings and not deal with them but that is not going to last for long. The shell I have created gets thinner each day and I am afraid that once the sadness escapes it will be overwhelming.
I have too many things to do and too much to keep straight to let it win, at least right now. When it is finally over, I will grieve. Harder and longer than I can imagine right now.
I have to go, the tears are welling and I have to wait with those.